Wednesday, July 23, 2014

What Ramadan Is Good For...

Most people know that Ramadan is the Muslim Holy Month, but there is a whole culture around Ramadan that makes the holiday feel unique if you are Muslim. And if you are not Muslim, it's a sigh of relief.

Being here during Ramadan has been a little bit sad since we are not really invited to participate in the celebrations going on around us. Frankly, it's a bit like the next-door-neighbor's birthday party you didn't get invited to.

But in spite of feeling all woe-is-me, there are some ways that Ramadan can be enjoyed if you aren't in on the good times but are bearing witness to the good times.

What is Ramadan good for if you are not Muslim but living in a Muslim country?

1.) Ramadan is a good time to go to the dentist.

What with the fast on, no one wants to go to the dentist and have work done, only to swallow a bit of water during the procedure and have to make up that day's fast later.

Two days ago I went to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned before we return to The Land of the Free, The Home of the Brave, The Place of the Ridiculously Expensive Medical and Dental Procedure. I waited a grand total of 38 seconds to be seen.

Incidentally, the political enemies of the USA, the Russians and Cubans who man the dental clinic, were lovely, patient, and kind, and charged me $12 for my cleaning, Tian's extraction,  a round of painkillers and Tony's filling.

God bless the Communists.

2.) Ramadan is a good time to learn to drive.

Ramadan = no traffic = no one to plow into = best time to learn to drive.

When we non-Muslims are commuting to work, our Muslim neighbors and co-workers are still sleeping off the morning's suhoor (see my earlier post about exactly how this eating thing works at Ramadan).

For those doing the math, that means zero traffic.

On the flip side of the day, 7 p.m. is the other best time to practice driving because Oman is experiencing a collective fast breaking.

Frankly, driving between 5 a.m. and 9 a.m. or between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. is like driving through the zombie apocalypse as the roads are so deserted, and who doesn't love zombies?

3.) Ramadan is a good time to save money.
\
That coffee and snack that Tony usually buys in the mornings, thus draining the monthly slush fund of, well, slush, is fat and happy right now because there is no coffee available in the mornings unless it comes from our home supply of coffee. And those snacks? They will once again be available after 28 July. There are no restaurants open for lunch (except the American Club but shhhhhhh...that's a secret), no Starbucks selling tasty, overpriced beverages, no little cafes with little cafe treats. We are living in a diurnal food wasteland and that, my friends, is like getting a little bit of free money each and every day.

4.) Ramadan is a good time to master the art of eating on the sly while in the car.
I didn't realize how many breakfasts on the road we were doing until Ramadan hit and we suddenly were being discouraged from overtly carrying food outside our house--getting up earlier and eating breakfast at home was out of the question.  The only realistic solution to this problem, then, was to learn how to eat in the car without looking like you are eating. I recommend moving to a Muslim country so that you, too, can learn how to eat in the car without appearing to eat.

5.) Ramadan is a good time to be a lazy bum at work.
Nobody is working too hard during Ramadan because everyone is conserving energy. This is contagious. If you have ever fantasized about a three-hour workday punctuated by long stretches of putting your feet up or chatting with the person at the next desk, then working during Ramadan is for you.

6.) Ramadan is a good time to get free chocolates.
I had a big fat box of nice chocolates waiting for me on my desk yesterday. The Ramadan Fairy left them. They were better than Russell Stover. Can you imagine? Ow, I think my tongue just impaled my cheek.

And that is what rocks when it comes to Ramadan.

No comments:

Post a Comment